Wide Right Turns - The Beginning

Wide Right Turns should be a regular feature here from Tim, who is currently holding down the New York branch.  It is a free flowing conversation that occasional touches on mature subjects.

I have a headache.  It's one of those weird headaches where it seems to travel across the forehead from one side to the other, like it's going on vacation across the nation of the region between my lower hairline *the Italian eyebrows, now featuring...two of them!* and my upper hairline.  This is the Clark W. Griswold of Headaches.  It's determined to get where it wants to go, no matter how many twists and turns along the way.  

Why do I have this headache?  Well, it perplexed me too.  To understand this, you need to understand one of the most profound relationships in my life, bourbon.  Bourbon is my go-to liquor, and she has never let me down in times of need and always seems to bring with her a good time.  And I like me some bourbon.  I am a member of the Jim Beam "Brotherhood of Bourbon" (I believe that the meetings are hosted at whatever venue NASCAR is currently at).  -Ed. note - right after the AA meeting.-  So I can drink me some bourbon, or so I thought.  

See, I finished my fall term of law school last night and decided to go out and celebrate with a few friends, my buddy Eric, a paralegal from jersey, and my buddy Criss who works in the DA's office.  I always like to reference Criss by saying "my buddy in the DA's office" because it makes me feel a little bit like Sandy Cohen (Heart of Gold Member 1).  Well, I had 3 of my sweet lady bourbons accompanied with her partner, diet coke.  But they treated me poorly today on the way to work.  I woke up and almost lost my cookies on the 96th street subway platform.  3 drinks!  I am feeling like Superman at a red sun tanning beach over here, weak. 

So, it's ruined most of my day and instead of the usual spinning in my chair for an hour and then googling my name until lunch, I've been blah.  And I am blaming bourbon for this one.  I think she and I are in a fight.  Why do I explain this with my inaugural post?  Mostly because I am the exact opposite of Jim.  I am bizarro Jim.  Is there any reason more fitting for our names to be off one letter?  When we used to go out, Jim needed to introduce himself as James to prevent the "Jim Tim" thing.  So while Jim tells you yarns about the exotic women he meets, I will mostly tell you about my days.  I think It might serve a nice balance in the two worlds here.  And I tend to get bitter a lot.  So that's always good.  Italian rants are always funny.  Speaking of Italians, it appears I have started to amass an army of distant family members via facebook...but that's a story for another day.  So that's it for now but I got more to come, including Tim goes to the Opera.  Hilarity ensues. 

New York Giants:  24

Carolina Panthers: 21